There’s no shortage of advice in the world.
Everywhere you turn, someone is telling you the absolute best way to do live your life.
Someone says, “Antidepressants are dangerous!”
Another piece tells you, “Stop shaming people for taking meds for depression.”
Then you read, “People take drugs for diabetes, why shouldn’t you take it for depression? They are both diseases.”
“Vegetarians are less depressed.”
“Paleo cured my depression.”
And something inside you freaks out.
I fall into this trap when it comes to baby-raising advice. When one popular baby sleep book stated that “by twelve weeks, your baby should be able sleep up to 10 hours straight”, I could almost feel my blood pressure rising. I’m lucky if baby K does five!!! I thought frantically.
Ever get that feeling? You’re gripped with the fear that you’re doing it wrong.
This literally raises cortisol (your stress hormone), because of the sense of urgency created. Interestingly, elevated cortisol is commonly found in depressed and anxious people.
Here’s what I do to stay sane and happy amidst the deluge:
I hold it all very lightly.
Holding it lightly means to take it in…and then pull back and remember that you are figuring out things as best you can.
Naturally, even as I write this, the mean voice in my head snarks, “Well, if you didn’t hold it all so lightly, you’d probably be farther along by now!”
What does your inner mean voice say?
Pull back and hold that lightly as well.
In practical terms, it means snapping that baby sleep book shut, setting it aside, and observing where my baby is at, and how I can respectfully help him.
It means I tell my clients to take my advice – and test it out against their own experience, to see if it works for them.
So here’s my offering to you:
Trust that you are figuring it out.
Seek advice, sure… ideally from someone who listens to you first. Then, if you’re moved to follow, do so in the spirit of curiosity and experimentation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/